if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
