nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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