She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize