i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
