I think im going to throw up on grandma
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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