Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
