Already got asked if we're dating
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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