operation have a gay friend backfired
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
