Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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