The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize