What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
