Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
