she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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