Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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