i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
