rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
