I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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