i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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