i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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