Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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