i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize