i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
