So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
