you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
