I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
