I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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