sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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