Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
