she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
