saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
