I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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