i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
