I've blown a few things in my day
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
