No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
