Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
