fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize