Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want to have your abortion
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
