my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
