Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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