It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
