i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
