Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
