I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
