break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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