I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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