Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
