o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
