If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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