I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
