so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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