NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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