Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Fuck appropriateness.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
