Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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