I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
