worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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