There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
