no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
